Week 32 of My Pregnancy – Things are really getting to me now…
Having such a bad week this week. We’ve been at the new flat for a week now and the place looks like a construction site. I can’t sort out the nursery because everything has been chucked into boxes and are too heavy for me to lift. I’m bored at home by myself all day as there is no internet and the walk into town takes about 20 minutes, which is fine one-way, but my bladder is bursting by the time I get back home. I’ve put on so much weight, my belly is humungous and I don’t fit into any of my clothes, so I look really rubbish. My boobs have lost their perkiness too. But what’s scaring/depressing/frustrating me more is that I feel like I’m in a catch-22 situation. I can’t just go out to the pub and drink anymore, or I can’t exercise properly, or decide to take a long trip somewhere, or even fly to another country. But when our little Boxer is born, I may be able to do all of those things again, but I’ll never be able to think about just me doing them anymore. If I want to go to the gym, or I fancy a trip somewhere, I have to make sure our Boxer is looked after first – whether that be getting him a babysitter or travelling on those journeys with me. Hubby comes home dead to the world now that he has a gruelling journey, so we hardly spend any quality time together. He comes home late, watches a bit of TV then goes to bed early because he’s so tired. I feel like we’re wasting our quality time together as we only have less than two months left, but what can I do? Maybe it’s just the hormones, but things are really getting to me. I feel fat, heavy and housebound. I can’t wait to have my body back, but then again I’m too scared to give birth or become a mother. My brother asked me if I was enjoying my pregnancy. I told him that it would be nice to be able to move about freely again and not feel so heavy. He said that I should cherish the time that I have with the baby so close to me, as these 9 months of the pregnancy are the only times I will ever know where he is 24 hours of the day. That really did make me think twice… I think I’d probably feel better if I had a project to do. I really want to get started on the nursery, but I need hubby to shift the boxes first. Moving on with the flat might also get rid of some of these emotions of feeling useless. I wonder if these feelings of frustration are stressing the baby out too? Boxer moves about a lot at night, but sleeps a lot during the day. Maybe it’s because there’s hardly any room left in there, the poor fella. Whenever I bend down to put on my shoes or pick up something from the floor I feel like I’m squashing him! Also I’ve noticed that whenever I rest something on my tummy he tries to push it away or feels around the area. It’s a fun game to play when you’re bored. A fun fact – The baby weighs about as much as a large jicama!
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Leyla Preston is the owner and Editor of Motherhood Diaries global magazine for parents. Leyla is a busy mother of two even busier boys; Aron, 8, and Aidan, 6. When Leyla isn’t feeding, managing a gazillion tasks or cleaning the infinite mess at home, she is busy working on this magazine and a new cooking channel coming very soon – no rest for the wicked! You can follow Leyla on Twitter (@M_Diaries) or join the busy Motherhood Diaries Facebook group where all mums get together and share stories and solutions with one another: https://www.facebook.com//groups/motherhooddiaries/