How to involve the kids in your engagement

how to involve the kids in your engagement

Dads, when your new relationship comes with kids, it can bring a whole load of new challenges, especially when you need to break it to your children that you want to get married to your new partner. Provided that your kids are happy with the new relationship and they have had some time to come to terms with the new arrangement, involving them in your plans to get married will help to make the process easier because they will feel wanted as well as more confident in the growing family unit.

No matter what, children must be the first of the family to hear the news. Younger children may not fully understand what is going on, so be prepared for a whole heap of questions to come your way. But, no matter their age, explaining to them that getting married is what you want to do, will make them feel like their feelings matter and, ultimately, that how they feel factors in on the outcome of the proposal.

Below are some ways that you can involve the kids in your engagement.

Picking out the engagement ring


Finding the perfect ring can feel like a mammoth task, especially when you’re not proposing for the first time. Involving the kids in looking for the perfect engagement ring and asking for their opinion will build trust and make them feel needed during the planning part of the engagement. Their participation in finding the perfect ring for the soon-to-be bride will affirm the children that this new marriage is a positive change for them.

Help with the proposal

How to involve the kids in your engagement

Including the kids in the actual proposal will show them that when you ask to marry your partner, you are asking them to marry your children (and theirs if they have) too. The proposal will also be a lasting memory for everyone in the family, not just you and your partner, so involving the kids means that you can come up with all sorts of cute ways to propose. Perhaps get them to bring out the 3-course meal you’ve prepared, with the ring in the dessert. Or, to wear shirts that say, “Will you marry me?” in a romantic setting. Or you can get the kids to put on a show and in the end, pop the question. Ask the kids what the best way would be to propose, and they will come up with such lovely ideas and bring a whole new outlook to the proposal.

Involve the kids in the wedding planning

So you’ve proposed and your partner has said yes! Now, comes the hard part – actually getting married! There are tons of ways that the kids can get stuck in with all the wedding planning, even if you do have a wedding planner in place to take care of all the major preparation. You could get the kids to handwrite the guests’ place cards or create little wedding favours for the dinner tables. You can bring them along to the cake tasting, which I’m sure will make you the coolest parent ever in their eyes! Think of little tasks that could easily be delegated and entrust the kids in those jobs. Doing this will also give the kids time to process what is going on and prepare them for the big day ahead.

Involving the children in all the steps from engagement to wedding will not only make them feel comfortable of the new impending change, but it will cement the bond between each new family member and encourage a positive, secure and stable outlook to the future of their extended family.

*Collaborative feature post*

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How to involve the kids in your engagement Leyla Preston (545 Posts)

Leyla Preston is the owner and Editor of Motherhood Diaries global magazine for parents. Leyla is a busy mother of two even busier boys; Aron, 5, and Aidan, 4. When Leyla isn’t feeding, managing a gazillion tasks or cleaning the infinite mess at home, she is busy working on this magazine and a new cooking channel coming very soon – no rest for the wicked! You can follow Leyla on Twitter (@M_Diaries) or join the busy Motherhood Diaries Facebook group where all mums get together and share stories and solutions with one another: https://www.facebook.com//groups/motherhooddiaries/

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